The waiting is the hardest part!

If there is one thing I've learned since I started this journey is, you MUST be patient. I don't know much more today than I did yesterday. I learned that chemo is still a possibility. I am so OK with that because for some weird reason it feels like I won't lick this thing until I go through it all!! I am really fine either way:)

So, for now I am healing :) and waiting for my oncotype! I also have to see the oncologist at some point too.

I just wish this ride went just a little bit faster....but it is all a process and I'm certain that I am in good hands. Isn't it funny I want to rush all this?? I should rejoice today that I feel good and have energy to get out of bed and play with my kids.

It's put a bit of a damper on my summer plans with not knowing the treatment plan and I am sorry for all that!

Carson :)

We have had our tent set up in the backyard for a few days now. We had a family camp out on Saturday night. Carson decides that last night he wants to spend one more night in the tent before Brian takes the tent down! I had already talked him out of one night because I told him it was going to rain.

So, he insists and Brian and I agree. I think the only think keeping me sane was knowing our 90 pound puppy Bella was out there protecting him. I left 3 lights on and the door unlocked and heard every little noise last night.

Brian went to check on him at 5:30 and he was still sound asleep. Again, around 7ish and he was in the tent happy as could be and playing with Bella :)
Makes me feel so silly but, I am a Mom and there is a part of me that does not want Carson to grow up and be so brave!!

He had a blast and I am happy the tent is going to be down by this afternoon.

I am feeling somewhat better...I have a few great days and then some not so great days. I don't rest enough and I can't seem to sit still most of the time.
I go back to the doctor tomorrow for my post-op check up and will let you know what they say :)

Hip Hip Hooray!

ALL good news yesterday! The margins are clear in the remaining tissue that was removed AND lymph nodes are NEGATIVE!! They took out 10 and all are clear.

This means no more surgery for me (as you can tell by the beautiful picture) that is good news. I still have to have one more NEG from the Oncotype (a test that determines the likliehood of the cancer reoccuring and also assess the benefits of chemo) to be in the clear for NO chemo.

I wil find out on Thursday what the next step is. I am sure I will start radiation soon and then Tamoxifen for 5 years!

No complaints here, I am so thankful because I know it could be so much worse.

Recovery

Whew,

This surgery has been really hard on me! I am really sore under my arm and all bruised up! Hope to hear some news today and feel better too.

Happy Anniversary!

Life is good when you are married to your best friend!

SURGERY:

So, I think yesterday was the longest day of my life. We arrived at the hospital at 8am and I got prepped for surgery. I found out my case was not until 1:15!! Brian and I were freaking out...what are we going to do for all this time. I had to get injected with dye around 10 o'clock but really how long could that take. I went down to get the dye injections...4 small bee stings the guy tells me and he was right :( I was sent back upstairs and waited an waited...went through a whole liter of saline and was going to the bathroom like no one's business. I was terrified I was going to have an accident in the OR. Around 2:00 the Dr. came and we got started. All I remember was laughing and then off to la-la land for me.

When I woke up, my boob was ON FIRE...it hurt so bad and I told the Dr. "you hurt me"...she just laughed. She has the absolute BEST sense of humor and I am soooo glad I have my fate in her hands :) I spend a few hours in recovery and then at 5:15 I was wheeled out to the car.

My throat hurt really bad and still lots of pain in the boob and under my arm. I went to bed about 10 and got a pretty decent nights sleep.

Thank you SO SO MUCH to Traci and Whitney for watching our kids ALL day long. It was good to know they were in such great hands :) Also, to Brian of course for keeping me laughing all day and never complaining about anything. He was a trooper the whole day :)

Hopefully, we will hear some good news on Friday :) Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers :)

Father's Day

To the most wonderful husband and father in the world. We love you and thank you for all your hard work to take care of our family.

To all the other Dads...Happy Father's Day :)

Only 2 more days until surgery :) WOO HOO!

Happy Summer :)

I am feeling so good :) Hard to believe anything is wrong with me.

Class of 2020

Wow! Can you believe that? Today Carson graduated from Kindergarten...it's a huge deal now. They have a ceremony with cap and gown. Then photo ops with cookies and punch afterwards.

It's quite funny! Just to see all those little kids looking so grown up :)

In the picture with him is his best friend Tyler and their girlfriend Isabella.

I cried of course. Just thinking about Carson growing up and being a BIG boy now! I have such aspirations for him. I can't wait to see all that he will be in the future.

We had a very successful year with Carson so congrats to him!!!!

I'm am not sure how I got so lucky :)

Today was a good day for me! I asked myself why are people so nice to me? I received a monogrammed nightshirt from my best friend of 24 years. It was so sweet and I had tears in my eyes when I opened the package. Most of the friends I have are friends for life. I am so thankful for them all. I think it's so cool we can stay close even though we live far away. I have a friend in Arkansas whom I have not seen in SIX years but, we talk on the phone and still laugh and carry on like we are the best of friends.

I can't thank my family and friends enough for all the love and support you constantly give me.

So, after the bubble machine tonight which was tons of fun, I decided to take Bella for a quick walk. When I got home there was a gift in the living room for me. My friend Cindy had gone out and got me these beautiful tea mugs that are AWESOME. We went to a baby shower a few weekends ago and I was talking about how much I love tea and I usually have it every night before I go to bed....decaf of course. My tea tonight tasted extra yummy :)

I also had a message today from my ob/gyn doctor who just wanted to see how I was doing. Just checking in with me! Wow, that was impressive!

So, thank you to everyone who has made me feel so special. I am not just talking about gifts and things. I mostly mean the phone calls, emails, comments on the blog, cards, the constant support you give me everyday. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. OK, I am getting all teary-eyed and can't see now ;(

Thank you so much, I am feeling the love :)
Suzanne

Postponed and paranoid!

My new surgery date is June 17th :) I was really upset this morning but, better now :) I am ready to get this party started! I have a life and want to get back to it.

So, not sure if you can relate to this but ever since I got the "cancer" club card, I feel paranoid. I have an ache somewhere and I think.... Oh NO, it's cancer. I have this "thing" on my chin and I think, great it's spreading!! ARRGHHH!! I have fear that waiting longer for surgery will give Mr. Cancer a chance to move into other parts of my body.

Does this go on forever? I hate it! It's so frustrating :( Today....not such a good day for me....