Purty flowers

My Mom sent me these beautiful flowers today!

What do you do on the day before chemo? You feel like your life is about to change and there is nothing you can do to stop it. I went to the dentist (who is a breast cancer survivor) and got a cavity filled. I then went to get another x-ray of my pelvis to make sure all was clear.
I got the phone call at 4:55 to tell me that I will be on the TAC combo for my treatment! That means I will take Taxotere, Adriamycin, and Cytoxan and more meds afterward to be picked up at the pharmacy! It's a bit overwhelming for someone who only took ONE pill her whole life.

My neighbor watched the kids, put them to bed, and did my dishes tonight while Brian and I went out for coffee :) We spent the first 30 minutes just driving around talking. It is rare to get 30 uninterrupted minutes to talk.

I believe there are 2 horrible things to all this so far. #1-losing my hair (has to be the hardest thing to deal with so far) I look in the mirror and I don't even see me anymore...plus it's just going to get worse. #2-not having a clue how and when these drugs will effect me. I want to know what day I will feel like crap. The not knowing is really hard.

Goodnight, I am off to bed...I will be wearing my "Cancer Sucks" shirt tomorrow :) I truly belive that statement.

third time is the charm

Hopefully, this will be my last surgery for a while :)

I am getting good at this

Surgery went well and the port is in! It feels like someone punched me in the chest and it was really sore today. I went for a walk tonight and tried to run and ahhh did not work so well. Hopefully, in a few days it will be better.

I can't believe Friday is the big day :) It seems like I've been talking about this for a long time now. I want to say that I am so ready, but I am SO NOT!

WE told Carson last night. I gave him much more credit about the whole thing. All he cared about was me losing my hair and how silly I would look :) Kids, gotta love 'em!

The Haircuts!!

Today I went and got the haircut! I swear, I used to have this doo in the 8th grade :) My hairdresser cried when I told her why I had to cut my hair all off. She knows me very well and knows this is NEVER a style that I would intentionally have. She made it so much easier to deal with all the emotion. BOY, you just don't know how much your hair defines you, until you have to deal with the loss of it.

SO then my friend Traci went and cut all her hair off too! I could not ask for a better friend :) Made my day when she came in the house and I felt like I was not alone today! Thank you Traci for hanging by my side :) GIRL POWER! We think we look like boys but, hey it'll grow back. Hers sooner than mine!

It's been a crazy day today. I made a homemade cheesecake to celebrate the losing of such great hair!

I am shocked about the poll and wearing a wig! I guess I might have go and look at wigs now??

Brian's new doo!

I go on Saturday for my chop chop! Brian beat me to the punch and got his buzz on! If you talk to him, please tell him NOT to shave his head! He looks great just like this :)

Carson lost his first tooth today :)

WOW, how time flies! WE are going to get a visit from the tooth fairy tonight :) SO COOL! I can't believe how big Carson is getting. We are going to have a talk with him on Sunday so he can have just a clue of what is going on with me. I bet you anything he already knows something is up because he already hears me talk on the phone and with friends. I just want to prepare him for my journey...not too much info but, enough to wear he knows what is up with Mom. Thank goodness Brooke is too small and will not even remember this.

I have my mediport insertion next Monday and will start the big fun on August 1st! I only have 2 doctor appointments this week..WOO HOO.

My Mom sent me a really cool purse I wanted and my first PINK bandanna ;) Brian got his hair buzzzzed today and he looks really cute. He wants to shave his head, but I think the buzz look is good enough for me. We don't need 3 bald heads in our house :)
I am getting my hair all chopped off later this week too. I figure the soon I part with the hair the better.

Don't take your baby to your Dr. appt

SO I think I have had a Dr's appt everyday this week! I am kinda sick of waiting rooms. I ended up taking Brooke with me today and it was a little hard. I could not really focus on what people were telling me. I need to be better at asking people to help me. I stink at that and hope to get better as time goes on.

So, I will start chemo (if everything goes as planned) on August 1st. I will have a total of 6 treatmenst every 3 weeks. I will be on 2 or 3 different drugs depending on the study. All the medications are "standard of care" so I am not going to be a guinea pig for anything new.

More later....I am tired and want to hang out with the kids :)

Careful what you wish for

So, the Dr. today says that I am going to have chemo! My oncotype came back pretty high, which surprised Brian and I both. It was 72 out of 100! My Dr. said he had made the decision of chemo before he had seen the test so, that made me feel a little better. Hey, I said I wanted to do chemo, right? I guess it's just different when it becomes reality.

They asked me to do a Clinical Trial and I said ABSOLUTELY! I can't imagine saying no since that has been my career for the last 13 years! It's an open label study and all the drugs are FDA approved! More details on all that later.

So, when do I start? Well, I have to go and have a heart scan today to make sure this old ticker is ready for what we are about to put it through. Then 7/28 I have my port put in. SOOO I suspect this will all start around the end of July or first of August. I am ready to get the show on the road! The quicker we start, the quicker we can be done :)

I am going to go and get another haircut because I can't stand the thought of my hair coming out in clumps :( I LOVE MY HAIR SO MUCH and it will be missed terribly. But, it does grow back!!

Keep me in your prayers and thank you for all the love and support :)

Fourth of July

We had a super day on the 4th with the exception of one JELLYFISH! When this happened, others at the beach had found jellyfish and we just told the kids to be careful. Carson came out of the water screaming and crying, it was awful. At first, you could not really tell how bad the sting was! Later that day it looked so bad...this picture is after 24 hours.
We called the ER and they told us to put vinegar on it! It helped quite a bit but Carson now smells like a salad :) What a champ he was and NOW he wants to know all about jellyfish. I guess a trip to the library is in order. Let's just hope this does not make him scared to hit the beach again ;)

It was definitely a memorable day!

Question

Just curious, if you had an "option" to get chemotherapy, would you?? Please take the poll to the right :)

A little trip

We decided to tag along with Brian on one of his business trips! We had lots of fun just hanging out and getting away from home.

I am doing OK, still lots of pain and I doing my best to just proceed with life as normal! I am thankful that there IS A breast there to have PAIN :)

I have an appointment on July 14th with the oncologist..hope that means more answers to many questions.