Hold on tight!

This past week has taught me so much about living each day to the fullest. I have been following a blog for the for the past several months (since I started chemo) of a woman named Maggie who lived in Austin, TX. She had Stage IV colon cancer and was truly an inspiration. Her husband wrote about their "Great Cancer Adventure" and did an amazing job of doing so. I felt as though I had lost one of my dearest friends, when she passed away last Monday. Although we had never met, just hearing her story and struggles made me feel close to her. I know it sounds crazy but in some weird way, cancer unites. The day she passed away I could not help but think of all the things I had left to do in my life. I am so grateful for each day now, more so than I used to be.
I don't want to take one second of my life for granted, it's too short. Tonight was my last day of school for this semester. What a great feeling to have that behind me and know that I CAN DO IT! So, now only 3 more years to go :) No problem because in the end I will have such a great job doing what I've wanted to do my whole life.

Here is the link to Maggie's blog if you are interested : http://thumpers-hole.net/wordpress/
Maybe it will inspire you :)

DOD

4/29/2008 will forever be embedding in my brain! Date of diagnosis...you never forget where you were or what you were doing. I happened to be recovering from surgery, laying in bed. The phone rang (it was around 2:00) and the surgeon said (in a very quiet voice) "you have cancer".

My journey thorough cancer was a walk in the park compared to other stories I have heard recently. Just having the love and support from my wonderful husband made this easier to take on. I look at women who had to lose their breast completely! :( Here I am bitching that my hair is too short. I am a bit ashamed and will not complain about that again, ok maybe I will but, seriously I feel so fortunate to have come out of this crap a better and much stronger woman!

Life has thrown me some major curve balls and at the time I never knew how I managed to get through them. I am happier in my life today than ever and if took cancer to make that happen, well it was worth every minute of it.

Here is a photo of all the SUPERWOMEN I had the pleasure of meeting this past weekend at the Survivor retreat! We promised to keep in touch and stay connected and I sure hope that holds true. There girls humble me and I will never forget the time we spent together. It really touched my heart :)

Happy Easter!

I apologize that I have not been posting anything on here. I guess I just feel like no one wants to hear me complain anymore. I am feeling pretty good except for the usual soreness and being really tired.

I have NOT started Tamoxifen due to the symptoms I am having. I don't know really what to do anymore :( I just try to keep moving and keep focused on the positive.

We had a wonderful day today. The Easter Bunny gave me a nice spray tan so that I would look really HOT in my new dress. The funny thing is it was a bit streaky, apparently you have to get "air-brushed" now. Ha Ha! no thanks :) I think I can wait for the real sun.

I am so thankful for the day today and my wonderful family and friends. I love that my Mom just drove all the way from Texas to see me.

I am thankful for my siblings who are pitching in to take care of my Dad (who is in the hospital right now)

I just wish we all had the Easter spirit for more than just one day out of the year. It's quite refreshing.

We took a drive to the Outer Banks today and I was a tad overdressed at the truck stop bathroom. I had to giggle when everyone was staring at me! I know I stuck out like a sore thumb. Thankfully, the LIFE IS GOOD store had the perfect shirt for me....

SILLY SMITH...is that the best? YES, yes it is.

This is really good!

http://www.livestrongchallenge.org/site/c.frKPI1PAIoE/b.5034191/k.48B6/Challenge_Cancer_Video.htm

I think the FAT Lady might be singing :)

Goodbye, Farewell, Adios, Auf Wiedersehen, and Ciao Baby ;)

I don't know why but having the port removed on Friday was more significant than I expected! It marked the END of treatments for me! I just got real satisfaction of watching the nurse throw it in the trash can. The procedure was pretty painless, especially when you are like me and you actually watch her cut and stitch! She said most people don't usually watch, but then again, I am NOT like most people.

The next step is Tamoxifen, not sure when this will happen. I will continue to see Dr. Carmen for the next 10 years for follow-up. Good thing I like her, huh?

The hair is growing, spring is coming and life will hopefully return to normal again.

Big Brother

My big brother Steven came to visit us this weekend! We had such a nice time and I was glad to be able to spend some time with him. We don't have many opportunities to have quality time together. For someone that does not have children, he did a fabulous job of hanging tough with our crazy family life.

The weather here the last few days has been absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait for Spring. Something about it puts me in a great mood. Things are going well and I am feeling OK! I can tell that my body is way different but I try not to let it bother me. I just keep trucking along ;)

I am having minor (and I mean minor) surgery on Friday to get the medi port out of my chest! This is quite significant in "cancer world" because it means that I am really done with treatment.

My little Valentine :)

After going to the doctor on Friday he told me that we would hold off on the Tamoxifen for now. I have been having some joint pain and all. Apparently, this drug also causes these side effects along with weight gain :) Yippie! I am going to another doctor appointment tomorrow so can't wait to see what she says.

Brooke has learned that her drum also serves as a step stool, for which she can get the Valentine candy and proceed to EAT IT UP! Yes, I am proud, she is her mother's daughter :) :)

More to come.....

Doing Ok

I am feeling pretty good these days. I still get really sore when I sit for long periods and I am tired an awful lot too.
I am nursing a burn on my breast as well and hopefully it will go away soon. All constant reminders that it's not over when you stop going for treatment.

I go to my oncologist on Friday the 13th...ooooo...and we will see what is next! I know I need my port out and I will start Tamoxifen soon.
Now it's jut time to sit and enjoy NOT going to the doctor :)

273 days

Thank you to my nurse Donna ;) She made me laugh everyday during radiation!

Is it really over? I know I am supposed to think positive and just move along with life. I probably will once I can really look at myself and see ME again.

I have been forever changed due to this disease and part of me is stronger for it! I appreciate life and will never take it for granted again.

To my husband, for always pushing me to be better! I love you more than everything :) You made me laugh when I didn't want to and told me it was OK to cry and a crappy day...or two!

Thank you to everyone for all your love and support.

It's getting closer

Today I had the last treatment for the "whole" breast area :) The next FIVE, yes I said FIVE, treatments will only be targeted to where my tumor was found. It is called a Tumor Bed Boost or Electron. I am thrilled to know I am almost done :)

My baby boy is 7!

Happy Birthday to Carson :) I can't believe he is 7 years old. He was so excited to receive a Tony Hawk skateboard today, some books, jeans that FIT, and a new slinky! We are going to have cake tonight with some of his friends :) He asked for vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting :)

We also took Carson to a hockey game on Saturday night, we had so much fun and I think Carson really enjoyed it. I have mixed feelings about the fighting but all in good fun right? Just funny to see some of the players without teeth.

It was also "Pink on the Rink" night and the ticket sales benefit the Komen foundation. The ice was PINK and lots of pink in the audience too. The players had pink ribbons on their helmets :) It was really cool!

I am feeling good...I have this rest of this week for treatment and a few days next week. I can't tell you how great it will feel to be DONE! The hair is growing and is quite a mess right now and just darn cold too!

Silly faces :)

Counting the days-13 more to GO!

Radiation is going well and I can harldy wait for January 27th to get here! I am having some pain in my legs and my back. I've told 2 doctors about it and they seem to think it is unrelated. I can't figure out what is going on really. This morning I woke up and my leg is hurting from the back of my thigh to my big toe :( It feels like a nerve or something.
When I went to my appointment yesterday I got more markings, but his time with a paint pen..remember the metal ones you shake up that smelled really strong? Well, I have a bright blue circle around my left breast, followed by more tape. This "blue target" is for the last 5 treatments. It is called, electron or "tumor bed boost". The machine has some equipment added to it, kind of reminds me of a camera lens and it is directly aimed at where my tumor used to be.
I was given praise for how well my skin is doing, although it is starting to turn pink now. The doctor told me most people were really red by now and in pain! Let's keep our fingers and toes that that I can keep going like this until the end.

Ugly Duckling

School is back in session and life as we know it, will return to normal. We had a wonderful Christmas break and spent some well needed family time together.

I am going through the strangest thing lately. Part of my body has decided it wants to be a chia pet and the other is losing hair steady and fast. Have you ever tried to put mascara on 3 eyelashes? It is very difficult. :) I have a feeling I am going to go through a very ugly duckling phase before the beautiful swan with locks of hair. The hair that has grown back in very fine and soft.
I think I have 12 eyelashes along with a few eyebrows. I am very thankful that they lasted as long as they did. I just think they could of hung in there for the long haul :)
One symptom I might be experiencing through radiation is fatigue and joint pain. I feel stiff and it's hard to get going ....or is this because I am getting old! Either way it stinks and I am going to up the exercise and see if that helps.
I am thankful for no burning or redness on my skin!

One day at a time and thankful for the hair that is growing...I know, I know